Three Crucial Questions to Ask Yourself Before Calling a Divorce Attorney
No one gets married with the intention of divorcing their spouse ten, or twenty years down the road. Everyone -even celebrities- enter into marriage with wide-eyed hope, enthusiasm, and determination to build a marriage that lasts. Mapping out a prenup, or considering the possibility of divorce, is usually the last thing on most couples’ minds who are soon to be married.
However, marriage takes work, and can be difficult in several ways that few of us are ready or prepared for. There is no rule or guidebook that details how to make the journey or marriage run smoothly, and rarely do couples enter into a marriage with the tools they need in order for the marriage to be a success.
While many couples are able to navigate through rough patches, some hit road blocks and have difficulty recovering. Some struggles, such as infidelity, are deal-breakers and may lead straight to divorce.
Spouses considering divorce often wonder when to call a divorce attorney to discuss their options. Unfortunately, there is no clear cut answer. Divorce is a personal decision, and one that only you can make. However, here are three important questions that may help you determined the best time or when to call a divorce lawyer.
Do I really want a divorce a better marriage with my spouse?
This is perhaps the most important thing to consider before deciding when to call a divorce attorney. There’s a huge difference between being in an unhappy marriage that is salvageable, and one that is beyond repair. It’s easy to consider divorce when facing ordinary, yet admittedly difficult, marital challenges that can be resolved. Take to consider whether you are truly seeking to end your marriage, or whether you’re seeking change.
Have we given it our all?
Couples therapy can be a scary thought, however, it is important to explore all options before moving forward with the decision to divorce your spouse. On the other hand, if you’re currently enrolled in couple’s therapy and not making progress, do not feel discouraged. Just as with a physical or medical condition, getting a second opinion may be beneficial. The right therapist will act as a guide, and will help encourage growth and communication in order to help you and your spouse work through your difficulties.
What role did I play in our difficulties?
Your spouse is not perfect and neither are you. Regardless of the cause of your marital difficulties, it is important to consider that possibility that you may be contributed to the problem unknowingly in some way. Perhaps you have trouble communicating your needs, or you and your spouse both have demanding careers that leave little time to focus on each other. It’s important to have an honest and open minded discussion with yourself before putting all the blame on your spouse. Keep in mind that taking responsibility for your part is not the same as being completely at fault.
By considering these three questions and others, you may find that your marriage is salvageable. However, the decision of when to call a divorce attorney or to file for divorce is ultimately yours. Do what feels right, and what you feel is in your best interest.