I Have No Social Life
I have been exactly where you are now. Feeling like I have no social life and that I was just surviving my life – not really living it.
I would pass away my Friday nights in the same way I’d pass every other night. Alone. In front of the computer or TV. I’d watch shows or people living exciting lives and watch the people around me enjoy themselves. They made it look so easy. Why couldn’t I have that?
There is no version of the best social life. It’ll be different for everyone.
Some will want a few close friends to always hang out with and rely on. Others will measure their social life on the amount of people who turn up to a party or a night out. Some people will also measure it on how many invitations they get to do things or how many dates they go on.
Looking at it now I think the ideal is a mix of the above. Being comfortable enough in any social situation and not being held back by a lack of a social life.
Regardless of how you want in a social life there’s no escaping the fact we’re social creatures.
But for a long time I had no social life.
I wasn’t happy.
I wanted to change.
I got advice from some of the few people I knew and some from people online. Most of it did more harm than good but they meant well at least. I even went online searching for things like “I have no social life” trying to find someone with the same problem. Trying to find a solution.
You see – having a social life means you can work on your social skills. It also means you have interesting experiences which give you something to talk about (so you don’t seem boring). You’re also constantly exposed to new people which continues to grow your social circles.
And your social life can affect everything from the opportunities you have to your love life.
And having no social life can be a vicious circle. Your social skills only get worse over time if you’re not using them properly. And while everyone else is creating new experiences every day while you’re sitting around getting worse at interacting with people.
We only have one life here and we don’t have time to waste it away. I was all to aware of this when I had no social life and almost resented the people around me who made it look so easy.
I wasted years of my life while I was at University hiding away from the world and it only got harder from there. I think I must have tried every book, guide and DVD as well as taken every bit of lame advice I could get. But the truth is even if I found myself talking to people – I never had anything to say.
Any conversation I got into would quickly fizzle and die. Awkward silences would be all to common. The only thing worse than running out of something to say was saying something awkward I’d be kicking myself for later. I sometimes felt like I had no personality – let alone having no social life. I felt like I was just wasting my time – my life – away.
Having no social life is tough. It’s more than just being bored. You miss out on so much. Having no social life in college and University was possibly the worst thing that happened to me because my social skills almost died after that and things only got worse. For a long time.
The effects of no social life might be a little different for everyone. But for me – I fell into playing video games and tried to ignore the problem. I’d hear about people doing things that I would love to do. But I’d have nobody to do it with and no social skills or confidence in myself to do it alone. Basically I was wasting my life away.
Time passed by. Days blurred into weeks, months and even years. It’s an easy problem to try and ignore but the longer you stick your head in the sane the harder it will be to solve.
The truth is it’s actually a really easy problem to fix. All it takes is a little understanding and a few techniques and any one can build a social life from scratch in just a few days. And it gets easier as it goes on. The more people you know, the more your social skills grow and the easier it becomes to expand your social circles and create new ones when you want to.
This is exactly where I am now.
I won’t go into the full story of how I got there (yet) but I now have several different social circles and the social skills to find more when I need them. I’m rarely without something to do and I can pick up my phone and have plans within an hour. It’s an amazing feeling.
And I don’t say this to brag. I say this to prove that if someone who was as shy and socially anxious as I was can get this kind of social life within 27 days – anyone can.
Imagine going from saying “I have no social life” to a packed schedule and the ability to lift your phone and have plans at the moments notice. Imagine doing things you’d never thought you’d be able to do. Imagine actually living your life.
The techniques I teach are exactly what I used. They’re the techniques I’ve taught other people and I’ve seen how much of a change they can make.
But before I show you what does work it’s important you understand why bad advice (even when it’s well meant) can really make things worse.